A Friday evening e-mail chat with my friend...turned into her greatly helping me to write my first ever drabble...I thought it might be fun to share the process...
Tarabeth
08:07
I am trying to start my drabble...but, now I am stuck...what do you think....
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled as he stepped in a pile of horseshit, landed on his ass and slid across the drive. He was late for the town hall meeting, and paying more attention to getting to the car, off the ranch, and away from Zane, than to where he was going.
Zane came bolting through the screen door, jumped off the porch and ran towards Vaughn.
Tarabeth
08:08
100 words sucks...I talk to much.
Nicole
08:11
Good names. I like this start. How many words is that?
Tarabeth
08:11
Sixty-five
Nicole
08:12
and you only get 35 more?
Tarabeth
08:15
yeah...what I am supposed to do know...gosh...I really am amazed English is my primary language.
Here are some proposed options for my remaining 35 words...
*Vaughn has just been spanked...hense being late for the meeting and wanting to get away from Zane...
*Vaughn is running away from Zane...'cause he knows he is going to get it
*Zane is being a horndog...and Vaughn is trying to get out of the house before he gets molested again...hense the being late
The origanal plan...although there is no way I can do it in 35 words...was that Vaughn had on really spendy new shoes...that he wasn't supposed to buy...and there was this spiralling thing and getting in touble...but, I just forgot how few 100 words are...
I think I may have to go get some ice cream to help me think
Nicole
08:21
Why don't you write it the way you envisioned it, and then I can help you whittle away?
Of course, ice cream is a must. lol
Tarabeth
08:22
okay....I am going to type away...
"Vaughn! Are you okay?" Zane asked, as he knelt at Vaughn's side.
This is going to be way to many words.
Vaughn pushed himself up, and started dusting the dirt off the seat of his pants. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Nicole
08:26
lol, breathe. it'll be fine.
Tarabeth
08:26
As he looked down over himself he realized his new, Mark Nason Slip-on's...
(author's note...they are very cute....http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/2376166/0~2376778~2372807~2372838~2376166?cm_ven=google&cm_cat=shoes&cm_pla=generic-mens&cm_ite=men%27s%20designer%20shoes
Nicole
08:27
those are nice
Tarabeth
08:30
...which he had paid $375 for, he noticed that not only were they covered in horse manure, but that the shit had seeped inside his shoe and was all over his over the pant leg of his new $200 diesel jeans...which were also displaying a nice gash across his calf.
Zane rolled up the jeans to see if the gash had left any damage to Vaughn's leg.
As he did he realized he had not seen either these shoes for this pair of jeans before.
Vaughn’s leg was only displaying a scratch, he hadn’t actually broken any skin. Zane rolled his pant leg back down and gave Vaughn a stern look, “Vaughn?”
(This is so not a cowboy story...I am such a girl!!!)
“Where did those jeans and shoes come from?”
“Ummm,” Vaughn began to answer, knowing that lying wouldn’t be tolerated, and telling the truth was going to land him in near as much trouble as lying about his new clothes.
(I need big rugged man story...not cowboy spanked for spending too much at Nordstroms. )
Nicole
08:37
lol. not all cowboys are big rugged men
Tarabeth
08:38
Yes, but I am not liking my drabble and it is already 258 words.
The shoes are very cute...though aren't they...
Nicole
08:39
yes they are.
Tarabeth
08:39
Suggestions?
He got a terrible sinking feeling when he realized that not only were his cute new jeans and shoes ruined, but that very soon, his cute jeans, that so nicely showed off is firm, round ass, would be around his ankles, allowing Zane’s belt to show his firm round ass what happens to cowboy’s who overspend at Nordys.
316 words
Nicole
08:46
Good story. So, what are the most important details?
Tarabeth
08:47
Hmmm...well, cowboy details need to be there hense the horse poo...the mention of the ranch...
I like how Zane's concerned when Vaughn falls
But, the basic story is Vaughn spent way to much money, ruined his new clothes his first time wearing them...and got busted
But, I also never said why he wanted to get away from Zane in the first place...
Because, I think he was in trouble...which only makes the fact that he was leaving in a huff, not paying attention to where he was going and ruined his clothes that much worse.
Nicole
08:52
yeah, maybe he's in trouble first and you only mention the fact that he's sore to cut down on that part of it?
Tarabeth
08:53
I don't understand...please explain again
Nicole
08:54
Well, maybe you write that Vaughn rubs a little as he hurries away from Zane toward the truck, and leave it at that. your readers will know that he got in trouble, and that he's mad at Zane just from that.
Tarabeth
08:55
You are such a smart woman.
ooooo....I think I might like the Burberry Jeans better and they cost more. I don't like jeans to have too funky of pockets...they can take away from the ass.
The Burberry's are also low rise...I don't like high rise men's jeans http://shop.nordstrom.com/C/2378147/0~2376777~2374609~2374615~2378147?mediumthumbnail=Y&viewAll=1&tuid=00000418-006c-085e-6361-745f6d656469&catID=2378147&Category=2378147
Nicole
08:58
...it could be that the shoes and the jeans could be a little much. maybe it's just about the shoes?
Tarabeth
08:59
'Kay...I am fiddling with it now...
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled as he stepped in a pile of horseshit, landed on his ass and slid across the drive. He was late for the town hall meeting, and paying more attention to the sting in his backside than where he was going.
Well...I cut out a couple of words...
Or maybe just the jeans...cause I kind of like the reference at the end about his ass and in the jeans and then the jeans around his ankles...
Nicole
09:03
*nod* that would work, too
tarabeth1012
09:06
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled as he stepped in a pile of horseshit, landed on his ass and slid across the drive. He was late for the town hall meeting, and paying more attention to the sting in his backside than where he was going.
Zane came bolting through the screen door, jumped off the porch and ran towards Vaughn.
Vaughn pushed himself up, and started dusting the dirt off the seat of his pants. "I'm fine." As he looked down over himself he realized his new $200 diesel jeans were covered in manure and had a lengthy gash in the calf.
Zane rolled up the jeans to see if the gash had left any damage to Vaughn's leg. As he did he realized he had not seen this pair of jeans before. Vaughn’s leg was only displaying a scratch; he hadn’t actually broken any skin. Zane rolled his pant leg back.
Ugg...220...I am going to go make a quick ice cream run...so BRB
Nicole
09:07
okay
Tarabeth
09:23
mmmm, reese's peanut butter cup ice cream
Nicole
09:24
mmm, that does sound yummy
Tarabeth
09:25
thanks...I am cutting more words...this isn't fun...it reminds me having to submit letters of intent for grants.
Nicole
09:28
lol. sorry
Tarabeth
09:29
Down to 189...and still deleting...
Nicole
09:36
is it working?
Tarabeth
09:36
down to 166
Nicole
09:36
cool
Tarabeth
09:36
this is what I have so far
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled as he stepped in a pile of horseshit, landed on his ass and slid across the drive. He was late for the town hall meeting, and paying more attention to the sting in his backside than where he was going.
Zane came bolting through the screen door running towards Vaughn.
Vaughn sat up, and dusted the dirt off his ass. "I'm fine," he mumbled, as he realized his new $200 diesel jeans had a length gash and were covered in manure.
Zane raised the jeans to check Vaughn's leg, he realized he didn’t recognize this pair of jeans. Vaughn’s leg was only scratched. Zane rolled the pant leg back down giving Vaughn a stern look, “Vaughn, where did those jeans come from?”
“Ummm,” Vaughn began to answer, he got a terrible sinking feeling realizing that not only were his new jeans ruined; they would soon be around his ankles, allowing Zane’s belt to show it what happens to cowboy’s who overspend at Nordys.
Nicole
09:41
What if you said "He was late for a meeting and not paying attention to where he was going" instead? It cuts down like 8 words.
Or, possibly that's not important at all. Your readers can just assume that he's in a hurry for some reason, or just clumsy.
Tarabeth
09:46
133 words
Nicole
09:48
close!
Tarabeth
09:51
ugg 124...any more suggestions...
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled stepping in a pile of horseshit and sliding across the drive. He was paying more attention to his sore backside than where he was going.
Zane came bolting through the screen door.
Vaughn stood, dusting the dirt off his ass. "I'm fine," he realized his new $200 jeans had a gash and were covered in manure.
Zane raised the jeans to check Vaughn's leg, it was only scratched. Zane realized he didn’t recognize these jeans, rolling the pant leg down he gave Vaughn a stern look, “Where did those jeans come from?”
“Ummm,” Vaughn’s stomach sank, realizing his new jeans were ruined and would soon be around his ankles, with Zane’s belt showing what happens to cowboy’s who overspend at Nordys.
Nicole
09:53
Um. You could probably do without "Vaughn stood, dusting the dirt off his ass." and change the "he" to "Vaughn" so we know who's talking.
Tarabeth
09:56
Ha...97...check this out...
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled stepping in a pile of horseshit and sliding across the drive.
Zane came bolting out the door.
"I'm fine," Vaughn realized his new $200 jeans were ripped and covered in manure.
Zane raised the jeans to check Vaughn's leg, it was only scratched. Zane realized he didn’t recognize these jeans, rolling the pant leg down he gave Vaughn a stern look, “Where did those jeans come from?”
“Ummm,” Vaughn realized his new jeans were ruined and would soon be around his ankles, with Zane’s belt showing what happens to cowboy’s who overspend at Nordys.
Nicole
09:57
cool. very nice. now take the apostrophe out of cowboys. lol
Tarabeth
09:58
'kay and I am using the thesaurus to find other words for realize.
Nicole
09:58
lol. be careful with those thesauruses. they're scary.
Tarabeth
09:59
yes, but fun...
must stop cutting...now down to 95 words...please send help...
Okay final version...what do you think...
“CRAP!!!” Vaughn yelled stepping in a pile of horseshit and sliding across the drive.
Zane came bolting out the door.
"I'm fine," Vaughn’s new $200 jeans were ripped and covered in manure.
Zane raised the jeans to check Vaughn's leg, it was only scratched. Zane noticed he didn’t recognize these jeans, rolling the pant leg down he gave Vaughn a stern look, “Where did those jeans come from?”
“Ummm,” Vaughn realized his new jeans were ruined and would soon be around his ankles, with Zane’s belt showing what happens to cowboys who overspend at Nordys.
uh oh...I think they are supposed to be EXACTLY 100 words.
Nicole
10:02
add in some adjectives. lol
Tarabeth
10:04
Okay, let's play a grammer game....
comma or semi-colon
Zane raised the jeans to check Vaughn's leg; it was only scratched.
Nicole
10:05
semi-colon
Tarabeth
10:08
Okay, miss you are this best.
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